Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by Crpdeth, Feb 4, 2011.

  1. Crpdeth

    Crpdeth Well-Known Member

    Apr 23, 2002
    Location location
    An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...

    Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
    Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
    Older Woman: Oh, I see.
    Officer: Can I see your license please?
    Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
    Officer: Don't have one?
    Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
    Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
    Older Woman: I can't do that.
    Officer: Why not?
    Older Woman: I stole this car.
    Officer: Stole it?
    Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
    Officer: You what?
    Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want
    to see.

    The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls
    for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer
    slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

    Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman
    steps out of her vehicle.
    Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
    Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and
    murdered the owner.
    Older Woman: Murdered the owner?

    Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
    The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
    Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
    Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite
    Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving

    The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
    The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

    Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a
    license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the

    Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

  2. Deputy Dawg

    Deputy Dawg Active Member

    Aug 11, 2005
    Central Texas Gulf Coast

  3. tech16024

    tech16024 New Member

    Jan 13, 2011
    I wonder what would happen if I tried that next time.....
  4. twobit

    twobit Active Member

    Sep 15, 2010
    four words....video and audio recorded.
    cant even make a good joke nowdays because of technology.
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