The laughs on Hillary.

Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by Bruce FLinch, Jun 8, 2007.

  1. Bruce FLinch

    Bruce FLinch New Member

    Aug 27, 2005
    Bay Point, Kali..aka Gun Point
    Even If you did like Hillary...These would still be FUNNY! :D

    Hillary Clinton said that her childhood dream was to be an
    Olympic athlete. But she was not athletic enough. She said she
    wanted to be an astronaut, but at the time they didn't take women. She said
    she wanted to go into medicine, but hospitals made her woozy. Should
    she be telling people this story? Â I mean she's basically saying she
    wants to be president because she can't do anything else."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â --Jay Leno

    "Well, the big story -- Hillary Clinton will be running for
    president in 2008. You know why I think she's running? I think she
    finally wants to see what it's like to sleep in the president's bed."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â --Jay Leno

    "Top Democrats have mixed feelings about Sen. Hillary
    Clinton running for president. Apparently, some Democrats don't like
    the idea, while others hate it."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â --Conan O'Brien

    "In a fiery speech this weekend, Hillary Clinton wondered
    why President Bush can't find the tallest man in Afghanistan.
    Probably for the same reason she couldn't find the fattest intern
    under the desk."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â Â --Jay Leno

    "Former President Bill Clinton said that if his wife,
    Hillary, is elected president, he will do whatever she wants. You know
    Bill Clinton -- when he makes a vow to Hillary, you can take that to the
    Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â -Jay Leno

    Â "Did you know Bill and Hillary Clinton were born under the
    same sign? Know what sign? 'For Sale.'"
    Â Â Â Â Â Â Â -Jay Leno

    "A student from the University of Washington has sold his
    soul on eBay for $400. He's a law student, so he probably doesn't need
    it, but still, that's not very much. Today, Hillary Clinton said,
    'Hey, at least I got some furniture and a Senate seat for mine."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â --Jay Leno

    "Hillary Clinton said today that she wants legislation to
    allow all ex-felons to vote. See, this way all the
    Clinton's former business partners can vote for her in 2008."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â --Jay Leno

    "Hillary Clinton's 506-page memoirs have come out. So much
    of her personality shines through, that in the end, you, too, will
    want to sleep with an intern."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â - Craig Kilborn

    In Hillary Clinton's new book 'Living History,'
    Hillary details what it was like meeting Bill Clinton, falling in love
    with him, getting married, and living a passionate, wonderful life as
    husband and wife. Then on page two, the trouble starts."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â - Jay Leno

    "In the book, she says when Bill told her he was having an
    affair, she said 'I could hardly breathe, I was gulping for
    No, I'm sorry, that's what Monica said."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â - David Letterman

    "Hillary Clinton, our junior senator from New York,
    announced that she has no intentions of ever, ever running for office
    of the President of the United States. Her husband, Bill Clinton, is bitterly
    disappointed. He is crushed. There go his dreams of becoming a
    two-impeachment family."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â - David Letterman

    "Last night, Senator Hillary Clinton hosted her first party
    in her new home in Washington. People said it was a lot like the
    parties she used to host at the White House. In fact, even the
    furniture was the same."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â - Jay Leno

    "Senator Hillary Clinton is attacking President Bush for
    breaking his campaign promise to cut carbon dioxide emissions, saying
    a promise made, a promise broken. And then out of habit, she demanded
    that Bush spend the night on the couch."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â - Craig Kilborn

    "CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman
    in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful.
    Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with
    Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â - Jay Leno

    "Hillary Clinton is the junior senator from the great state
    of New York. When they swore her in, she used the Clinton family
    Bible. . . the one with only seven commandments."
    -David Letterman
  2. dcd_enterprises

    dcd_enterprises New Member

    Oct 14, 2007
    Wheatland, Iowa


    AL MOUNT Active Member

    Oct 9, 2006
    Cleaning my Thompson in The Foothills of the Ozark
    Too funny dude......:D

    I hadn't heard most of em....
  4. catfish83861

    catfish83861 Active Member

    Nov 15, 2006
    North Idaho
    I think it would be even funnier if most of them were not so dang true.;) catfish
  5. Marlin

    Marlin *TFF Admin Staff Chief Counselor*

    Mar 27, 2003
    At SouthernMoss' side forever!
    Ditto Catfish !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  6. durk

    durk Active Member

    Sep 19, 2006
  7. Nighthawk

    Nighthawk New Member

    Aug 22, 2006
    South Central Texas
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