TIME! ( 1 2 )

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by ruffitt, Mar 6, 2003.

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  1. ruffitt

    ruffitt *TFF Admin Staff* In Heaven Now

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    Sparta, MI / Now In Heaven Also
    bondai
    *TFF Senior Staff*
    Posts: 1647
    (4/30/02 1:11:03 pm)
    | Edit | Del All TIME!
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    I will admit that this post is out of character for me but I thought it was interesting. I don't think that ANYONE can find something controversial about the story, but then again I could be wrong.


    Imagine there is a bank that credits your account each morning with $86,400. It carries over no balance from day to day.

    Every evening deletes whatever part of the balance you failed to use during the day. What would you do?

    Draw out ALL OF IT, of course!

    Each of us has such a bank. Its name is TIME.

    Every morning, it credits you with 86,400 seconds. Every night it writes off, as lost, whatever of this you have failed to invest to good purpose. It carries over no balance. It allows no overdraft. Each day it opens a new account for you. Each night it burns the remains of the day. If you fail to use the day's deposits, the loss is yours. There is no going back. There is no drawing against the "tomorrow." You must live in the present on today's deposits. Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, happiness, and success! The clock is running. Make the most of today.

    To realize the value of ONE YEAR, ask a student who failed a grade. To realize the value of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who gave birth to a premature baby. To realize the value of ONE WEEK, ask the editor of a weekly newspaper. To realize the value of ONE HOUR, ask the lovers who are waiting to meet. To realize the value of ONE MINUTE, ask a person who missed the train. To realize the value of ONE SECOND, ask a person who just avoided an accident. To realize the value of ONE MILLI- SECOND, ask the person who won a silver medal in the Olympics.

    Treasure every moment that you have! And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time. And remember that time waits for no one.

    Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it's called the present. Enjoy your gift!

    Author-Unknown


    Oh yea! Don't forget that May 12th is Mothers Day....



    LIKTOSHOOT
    *TFF Senior Staff*
    Posts: 4695
    (4/30/02 1:14:27 pm)
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    Who`s on first?????
    T.F.F.

    bondai
    *TFF Senior Staff*
    Posts: 1649
    (4/30/02 1:17:46 pm)
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    Now what are you asking me for???



    BlackGun
    *TFF Staff*
    Posts: 3825
    (4/30/02 1:22:24 pm)
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    NAH! WHO's on second! Geesh! Pay attention!
    I suffer from occasional loss of mental stability, and become very violent with only slight provocation. The Veterans Administration has determined that both mental and physical harassment of my person may be hazardous to your health and well being. So stay away from my Donuts!!


    BlackGUN

    bondai
    *TFF Senior Staff*
    Posts: 1650
    (4/30/02 1:23:59 pm)
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    Thats not the correct sequence...don't make me post the whole thing.



    ysacres
    V.I.P. Member
    Posts: 255
    (4/30/02 1:25:00 pm)
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    I think I lost 10-100th's of a second reading LTS's reply.
    Har Har

    Never test the water with both feet and never squat with spurs on.

    ruffitt
    *TFF Senior Staff*
    Posts: 873
    (4/30/02 1:25:19 pm)
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    ezSupporter
    Re: TIME!
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    Ain't so - whats on second!!
    RuffItt




    ysacres
    V.I.P. Member
    Posts: 256
    (4/30/02 1:30:00 pm)
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    Now that aint right a'tall it's whats on third! who dat on second! where is first.

    Never test the water with both feet and never squat with spurs on.

    bondai
    *TFF Senior Staff*
    Posts: 1651
    (4/30/02 1:31:40 pm)
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    I warned ya!


    WHO'S ON FIRST?

    BUD ABBOTT & LOU COSTELLO

    ABBOTT: NOW LOOK THERE, WHAT DO YOU WANT?

    COSTELLO: NOW LOOK, AFTER ALL IF I'M THE HEAD OF THE SPORT DEPARTMENT I GOTTA KNOW THE BASEBALL PLAYERS NAMES.

    ABBOTT: OH

    COSTELLO: AND I GOTTA KNOW THE TEAMS THAT'S PLAYING AND EVERYTHING ELSE

    ABBOTT: WELL NATURALLY ABBOTT

    COSTELLO: WELL THE ONE TEAM THAT'S PLAYING HERE THIS WEEK DO YOU KNOW THE GUYS NAMES

    ABBOTT: OH SURE

    COSTELLO: WELL YOU GO AHEAD AND TELL ME SOME OF THEIR NAMES

    ABBOTT: WELL ILL INTRODUCE YOU TO THE BOYS, YOU KNOW STRANGE IT MAY SEEMS THEY SEEM TO GIVE THESE BALL PLAYERS NOW-A-DAYS VERY PECULIAR NAMES.

    COSTELLO: YOU MEAN FUNNY NAMES?

    ABBOTT: NICK NAMES, PET NAMES...LIKE DIZZY DEAN...

    COSTELLO: HIS BROTHER DAFFY

    ABBOTT: DAFFY DEAN...

    COSTELLO: I'M THEIR COUSIN

    ABBOTT: WHO ARE YOU

    COSTELLO: GOOFY

    ABBOTT: GOOFY HUH. WELL, NOW LET'S SEE, WE HAVE ON THE BAGS, WE HAVE WHO'S ON FIRST, WHAT'S ON SECOND, I DON'T KNOW IS ON THIRD...

    COSTELLO: THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO FIND OUT.

    ABBOTT: I SAY WHO'S ON FIRST, WHAT'S ON SECOND, I DON'T KNOW'S ON THIRD.

    COSTELLO: ARE YOU THE FELLOW THAT KNOWS ALL THE PLAYERS?

    ABBOTT: WHY CERTAINLY.

    COSTELLO: WELL THEN WHOS ON FIRST?

    ABBOTT: YES.

    COSTELLO: I MEAN THE FELLOWS' NAMES.

    ABBOTT: WHO.

    COSTELLO: THE GUY ON FIRST?

    ABBOTT: WHO

    COSTELLO: THE FIRST BASEMAN.

    ABBOTT: WHO.

    COSTELLO: THE GUY PLAYING FIRST

    ABBOTT: WHO IS ON FIRST!

    COSTELLO: NOW WHAT'RE YOU ASKING ME FOR

    ABBOTT: IM NOT ASKING YOU IM TELLING YOU. WHO IS ON FIRST!

    COSTELLO: IM ASKING YOU! WHOS ON FIRST?

    ABBOTT: THATS THE MANS NAME

    COSTELLO: THAT'S WHO'S NAME?

    ABBOTT: YES.

    COSTELLO: WELL GO AHEAD AND TELL ME.

    ABBOTT: WHO

    COSTELLO: THE GUY ON FIRST

    ABBOTT: WHO

    COSTELLO: THE FIRST BASEMAN

    ABBOTT: WHO IS ON FIRST

    COSTELLO: HAVE YOU GOT A CONTRACT

    WITH THE FIRST BASEMAN?

    ABBOTT: ABSOLUTELY.

    COSTELLO: WHO SIGNED THE CONTRACT?

    ABBOTT: WELL NATURALLY (PAUSE) ITS NO GOOD UNLESS HE SIGNS IT

    COSTELLO:UNLESS WHO SIGNS IT?

    ABBOTT: NO

    COSTELLO: SO WHO SINGED IT?

    ABBOTT: ABSOLUTELY

    COSTELLO: WHEN YOU PAY OFF THE FIRST BASEMAN EVERY MONTH, WHO GETS THE MONEY?

    ABBOTT: EVERY DOLLAR OF IT. AND WHY NOT, THE MANS ENTITLED TO IT

    COSTELLO: WHO IS

    ABBOTT: YES

    COSTELLO: SO WHO GETS IT

    ABBOTT: ABSOLUTELY, SOMETIMES HIS WIFE COMES DOWN AND COLLECTS IT.

    COSTELLO: WHO'S WIFE?

    ABBOTT: YES.

    PAUSE

    COSTELLO: ALL I'M TRYING TO FIND OUT IS WHAT'S THE GUYS NAME ON FIRST BASE

    ABBOTT: OH NO WAIT A MINUTE. DONT SWITCH'EM AROUND WHAT IS ON SECOND BASE.

    COSTELLO: I'M NOT ASKING YOU WHO'S ON SECOND.

    ABBOTT: WHO IS ON FIRST.

    COSTELLO: I DONT KNOW

    ABBOTT: HES ON THIRD. NOW WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT HIM.

    COSTELLO: NOW HOW DID I GET ON THIRD BASE?

    ABBOTT: WHY YOU MENTIONED HIS NAME.

    COSTELLO: IF I MENTIONED THE THIRD BASEMAN'S NAME, WHO DID I SAY IS PLAYING THIRD?

    ABBOTT: NO. WHO'S PLAYING FIRST.

    COSTELLO: NEVERMIND FIRST I WANNA KNOW WHAT'S THE GUYS NAME ON THIRD?

    ABBOTT: WHAT'S ON SECOND.

    COSTELLO: IM NOT ASKING YOU WHOS ON SECOND

    ABBOTT: WHOS ON FIRST

    COSTELLO: I DON'T KNOW.

    ABBOTT: HE'S ON THIRD.

    COSTELLO: THERE I GO, BACK ON THIRD AGAIN!

    ABBOTT: WELL I CANT CHANGE THEIR NAMES

    COSTELLO: WILL YOU PLEASE STAY ON THIRD BASE AND DONT GO OF OF IT.

    ABBOTT: WHAT IS IT YOU WANT.

    COSTELLO: NOW WHO'S PLAYING THIRD BASE?

    ABBOTT: WHY DO YOU INSIST ON PUTTING WHO ON THIRD BASE?

    COSTELLO: NOW WHO AM I PUTTING OVER THERE

    ABBOTT: YEAH BUT WE DONT WANT HIM THERE

    COSTELLO: WHATS THE GUYS NAME THAT BELONGS ON THIRD

    ABBOTT: WHAT BELONGS ON SECOND

    COSTELLO: IM NOT ASKING YOU WHOS ON SECOND

    ABBOTT: WHO IS ON FIRST.

    COSTELLO: I DON'T KNOW.

    TOGETHER: THIRD BASE!

    PAUSE

    COSTELLO: YOU GOT A OUTFIELD?

    ABBOTT: SURE.

    COSTELLO: THE LEFT FIELDER'S NAME?

    ABBOTT: WHY.

    COSTELLO: I DONT KNOW I JUST THOUGHT I'D ASK YOU.

    ABBOTT: WELL, I JUST THOUGHT I'D TELL YA.

    COSTELLO: ALL RIGHT THEN TELL ME WHO'S PLAYING LEFT FIELD.

    ABBOTT: WHO'S PLAYING FIRST.

    COSTELLO: STAY OUT OF THE INFIELD!!! I WANT TO KNOW WHATS THE LEFT FIELDERS NAME?

    ABBOTT: WHAT'S ON SECOND.

    COSTELLO: I'M NOT ASKING YOU WHO'S ON SECOND.

    ABBOTT: WHO IS ON FIRST!

    COSTELLO: I DON'T KNOW.

    TOGETHER: THIRD BASE!

    PAUSE

    COSTELLO: THE LEFT FIELDER'S NAME?

    ABBOTT: WHY.

    COSTELLO: BECAUSE!

    ABBOTT: OH, HE'S CENTER FIELD. (PAUSE) I SEE YOU KNOW THE PLAYERS AS WELL AS I DO

    PAUSE

    COSTELLO: LOOK, YOU GOTTA PITCHER ON THIS TEAM?

    ABBOTT: NOW WOULDNT THIS BE A FINE TEAM WITHOUT A PITCHER

    COSTELLO: THE PITCHER'S NAME?

    ABBOTT: TOMORROW.

    COSTELLO: YOU DON'T WANT TO TELL ME TODAY?

    ABBOTT: I'M TELLING YA MAN

    COSTELLO: THEN GO AHEAD.

    ABBOTT: TOMORROW!

    COSTELLO: WHAT TIME?

    ABBOTT: WHAT TIME WHAT?

    COSTELLO: WHAT TIME TOMORROW ARE YOU GONNA TELL ME WHO'S PITCHING?

    ABBOTT: NOW LISTEN. WHO IS NOT PITCHING.

    COSTELLO: I'LL BREAK YOUR ARM IF YOU SAY WHO'S ON FIRST!!!

    ABBOTT: GO AHEAD HAVE IT YOUR WAY

    COSTELLO:. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S THE PITCHER'S NAME?

    ABBOTT: WHAT'S ON SECOND.

    COSTELLO: I DON'T KNOW.

    TOGETHER: THIRD BASE!

    PAUSE

    COSTELLO: YOU GOT A CATCHER?

    ABBOTT: CERTAINLY.

    COSTELLO: THE CATCHER'S NAME?

    ABBOTT: TODAY.

    COSTELLO: TODAY, AND TOMORROW'S PITCHING.

    ABBOTT: NOW YOU'VE GOT IT.

    COSTELLO: ALL WE GOT IS A COUPLE OF DAYS ON THE TEAM.

    ABBOTT: WELL I CAN'T HELP THAT

    PAUSE

    COSTELLO: YOU KNOW I'M A CATCHER TOO.

    ABBOTT: I KNOW THAT

    COSTELLO: I GET BEHIND THE PLATE TO DO SOME FANCY CATCHING, TOMORROW'S PITCH-

    ING ON MY TEAM AND A HEAVY HITTER GETS UP. TOMORROW THROWS THE BALL THE GUY

    BUNTS THE BALL. WHEN HE BUNTS THE BALL, ME, BEING A GOOD CATCHER,

    I'M GONNA THROW THE GUY OUT AT FIRST. SO I PICK UP THE BALL AND

    THROW IT TO WHO?

    ABBOTT: NOW THAT'S THE FIRST THING YOU'VE SAID RIGHT.

    COSTELLO: I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!

    PAUSE

    ABBOTT: WELL THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE TO DO.

    COSTELLO: IS TO THROW THE BALL TO FIRST BASE.

    ABBOTT: YES!

    COSTELLO: NOW WHO'S GOT IT?

    ABBOTT: NATURALLY.

    PAUSE

    COSTELLO: IF I THROW THE BALL TO FIRST BASE, SOMEBODY'S GOTTA CATCH IT.

    NOW WHO CAUGHT IT?

    ABBOTT: NATURALLY.

    COSTELLO: WHO CAUGHT IT?

    ABBOTT: NATURALLY.

    COSTELLO: WHO?

    ABBOTT: NATURALLY.

    COSTELLO: NATURALLY?

    ABBOTT: YEAH

    COSTELLO: SO I PICK UP THE BALL AND I THROW IT TO NATURALLY.

    ABBOTT: NO YOU DON'T YOU THROW THE BALL TO FIRST BASE THEN WHO GET IT.

    COSTELLO: NATURALLY.

    ABBOTT: THAT'S RIGHTS NOW WERE TALKING.

    COSTELLO: SO I PICK UP THE BALL AND I THROW IT TO NATURALLY.

    ABBOTT: YOU DON'T

    COSTELLO: I THROW IT TO WHO

    ABBOTT: NATURALLY

    COSTELLO: THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING.

    ABBOTT: YOU'RE NOT SAYING IT THAT WAY

    COSTELLO: I SAID I THROW THE BALL TO NATURALLY.

    ABBOTT: YOU DON'T. YOU THROW THE BALL TO WHO

    COSTELLO: NATURALLY

    ABBOTT: WELL SAY THAT

    COSTELLO: THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING

    ABBOTT: YOUR NOT SAYING IT...

    COSTELLO: I THROW THE BALL TO WHO

    ABBOTT: NATURALLY.

    COSTELLO: ASK ME!.

    ABBOTT: YOU THROW THE BALL TO WHO?

    COSTELLO: NATURALLY.

    ABBOTT: THATS IT

    COSTELLO: SAME AS YOU! I THROW THE BALL TO FIRST BASE THEN WHO GETS IT.

    ABBOTT: NATURALLY

    COSTELLO: WHO HAS IT?

    ABBOTT: NATURALLY

    COSTELLO: HE'D BETTER HAVE IT.

    COSTELLO: NOW I THROW THE BALL TO NATURALLY WHOEVER IT IS

    DROPS THE BALL SO THE GUY RUNS TO SECOND. WHO PICKS UP THE BALL

    AND THROWS IT TO WHAT. WHAT THROWS IT TO I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW

    THROWS IT BACK TO TOMORROW, TRIPLE PLAY.

    ABBOTT: YEEESSS

    COSTELLO: ANOTHER GUY GETS UP AND

    HITS A LONG FLY BALL TO BECAUSE. WHY? I DON'T KNOW! HE'S ON THIRD

    AND I DON'T GIVE A DARN!

    ABBOTT: WHAT WAS THAT?

    COSTELLO: I SAID I DON'T GIVE A DARN!

    ABBOTT: OH, THAT'S OUR SHORTSTOP.

    THE END

    bondai - you had a double post on this, so I deleted the second one. - ruffitt




    Edited by: ruffitt at: 4/30/02 2:35:15 pm

    bondai
    *TFF Senior Staff*
    Posts: 1655
    (4/30/02 1:49:25 pm)
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    Take one THANK YOU out of petty cash......



    Zigzag2
    *TFF Senior Staff*
    Posts: 3111
    (4/30/02 2:57:54 pm)
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    Bondai, are you being sourcastic, you know you wanted to say...



    lalala, la, la, laaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

    LIKTOSHOOT
    *TFF Senior Staff*
    Posts: 4700
    (4/30/02 3:20:55 pm)
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    3:29:78 CST
    T.F.F.

    Different name
    *TFF Staff*
    Posts: 1788
    (4/30/02 4:25:25 pm)
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    ezSupporter
    Re: TIME!
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    G O C A R D I N A L S ! ! !

    Baseball Season --- nuthin like it!

    Charlie D
    I prefer the bases stay clear
    (with home runs...)

    Abbott & Costello (really great comedians).
    In tha days gone by.....




    Edited by: Different name at: 4/30/02 5:28:27 pm

    BlackGun
    *TFF Staff*
    Posts: 3832
    (4/30/02 5:27:28 pm)
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    ? I need a beer!
    I suffer from occasional loss of mental stability, and become very violent with only slight provocation. The Veterans Administration has determined that both mental and physical harassment of my person may be hazardous to your health and well being. So stay away from my Donuts!!


    BlackGUN

    bondai
    *TFF Senior Staff*
    Posts: 1659
    (4/30/02 5:36:29 pm)
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    DIAMONDBACKS RULE....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:lol



    ysacres
    V.I.P. Member
    Posts: 259
    (4/30/02 7:31:18 pm)
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    Damm Yankees


    Alphamale
    *TFF Senior Staff*
    Posts: 794
    (4/30/02 10:04:11 pm)
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    Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow
    Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
    To the last syllable of recorded time;
    And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
    The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
    Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
    That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
    And then is heard no more. It is a tale
    Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
    Signifying nothing
    Pardon me while I burst into flames. I've had enough of the world and its people's mindless games---Incubus

    TallTLynn
    *TFF Senior Staff*
    Posts: 3805
    (4/30/02 10:43:56 pm)
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    ezSupporter
    Re: TIME!
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    Blackgun - I'll second that motion.

    AGunguy
    *TFF Staff*
    Posts: 1859
    (5/1/02 7:41:13 am)
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    Bring on the hard stuff, to heck with da beer.

    GG

    shooter22
    *TFF Staff*
    Posts: 1050
    (5/1/02 9:26:28 am)
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    The Cardinals will never be anything with LaRussa(dumb) & Duncan(dumber)!
     
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