Vive la France!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by 1952Sniper, Mar 17, 2003.

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  1. 1952Sniper

    1952Sniper New Member

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    Xracer
    *TFF Senior Staff*
    Posts: 3935
    (3/13/03 6:40:55 pm)
    Reply Vive la France!
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    "France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these
    drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by
    prostitutes."---Mark Twain

    "I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one
    behind me."--- General George S. Patton

    "Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your
    accordion."--Norman Schwarzkopf

    "We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it."---- Marge Simpson

    "As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure"---Jacques Chirac, President of France

    "As far as France is concerned, you're right."---Rush Limbaugh

    "The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee."
    --- Regis Philbin

    "The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I don't know."--- P.J O'Rourke (1989)

    You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it."---John McCain, U.S. Senator from Arizona

    "You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he hates America,he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He is French, people."--Conan O'Brien

    "I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the Germans out of France!"---Jay Leno

    "The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag."--David Letterman

    How many Frenchmen does it take to change a light bulb? One. He holds the bulb and all of Europe revolves around him.

    Next time there's a war in Europe, the loser has to keep France.


    warpig883
    *TFF Staff*
    Posts: 6563
    (3/14/03 7:02:32 am)
    Reply
    Re: Vive la France!
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    I can agree with all of those.


    the real fredneck
    V.I.P. Member
    Posts: 1188
    (3/14/03 9:45:31 pm)
    Reply
    Re: Vive la France!
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    pi** on the French, we should start using their flag as bathmats (a far more noble use than it has had lately)


    WyomingSwede
    *TFF Senior Staff*
    Posts: 757
    (3/15/03 6:35:23 am)
    Reply Re: Vive la France!
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    I got one for ya on the french too...swede

    The only seat available on the train was directly adjacent to a well dressed middle aged French woman and the seat was being used by her dog. The weary traveler asked, "Ma'am, please move your dog. I need that seat." The French woman looked down her nose at the American, sniffed and said, "You Americans.You are such a rude class of people. Can't you see my little FiFi is using that seat?"

    The American walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again facing the woman with the dog. Again he asked, "Please, lady. May I sit there?" I'm very tired." The French woman wrinkled her nose and snorted "You Americans! Not only are you rude, you are also arrogant....Imagine!"

    The American didn't say anything else, he leaned over, picked up the dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty seat. The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend her honor and chastise the American.

    An English man sitting across the aisle spoke up indignantly "You know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, Sir, you've thrown the wrong bitch out the window."

    Wyoming Swede


    Zigzag2
    *TFF Senior Staff*
    Posts: 5797
    (3/15/03 8:47:10 am)
    Reply
    Re: Vive la France!
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    Good Lawd!

    [email protected]

    Striker14376
    Member
    Posts: 21
    (3/16/03 6:19:42 pm)
    Reply
    Re: Vive la France!
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    I just heard this from my friend, I thought it was funny and true. The next time you see a french person, ask them if they speak German. When they reply no, say, "You're welcome." I don't know if yall know that one, but I'd just thought I'd share it with yall.

    Airman Louie
     
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