Where to Live?

Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by Pistolenschutze, May 16, 2006.

  1. You can live in Phoenix, Arizona where.....

    1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.

    2. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.

    3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.

    4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.

    5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.

    6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!

    You can Live in California where...

    1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.

    2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.

    3. You know how to eat an artichoke.

    4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.

    5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.

    You can Live in New York City where...

    1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.

    2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.

    3.You think Central Park is "nature."

    4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.

    5. You've worn out a car horn.

    6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

    You can Live in Maine where...

    1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.

    2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.

    3. You have more than one recipe for moose.

    4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.

    5. The four seasons are: almost winter, winter, still winter, and construction.

    You can Live in the Deep South where...

    1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.

    2. "y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.

    3. "He needed killin' " is a valid defense.

    5. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, MARY BETH, etc.

    You can live in Colorado where...

    1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.

    2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at the day care center.

    3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.

    4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

    You can live in the Midwest where...

    1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.

    2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.

    3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.

    4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"

    5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!"

    AND You can live in Florida where..

    1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.

    2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.

    3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.

    4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.

    5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.

    6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and snowbirds
  2. southernshooter

    southernshooter New Member

    Mar 5, 2006
    Deep South Mississippi
    Billy Bob needed killin cause he slept wit yall :)

  3. wolfgang2000

    wolfgang2000 New Member

    Dec 10, 2005
    Mountain Grove MO.
  4. pickenup

    pickenup Active Member

    Sep 11, 2002
    Colorado Rocky Mountains
    No to 1. & 2. and the top of my head ain't bald. :D
  5. Marlin

    Marlin *TFF Admin Staff Chief Counselor*

    Mar 27, 2003
    At SouthernMoss' side forever!
    My experience, which is seventy years worth, is the No 1 for Maine is NOT nor has it EVER BEEN TRUE.

    I never heard of Tobasco growing up. Only after I moved to Louisiana in 1959!!!!!
  6. SouthernMoss

    SouthernMoss *Admin Tech Staff*

    Jan 1, 2003
    SW MS
  7. inplanotx

    inplanotx Active Member

    Jan 28, 2002
  8. Crpdeth

    Crpdeth Well-Known Member

    Apr 23, 2002
    Location location
    'Cause he slept wit All Ya'll! :D

    *still laughing*
  9. Marlin T

    Marlin T Well-Known Member

    Jul 8, 2005
    New Mexico
    I can tell ya'll about Phoenix, and all is true. That is why I'll never even drive through there again.
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